Tag Archive | English

Lisa Nova Made it Possible For Me to Make a “Funny Women” List!

I’d like to start with a question this time, because questions are more important than the answers in philosophy, and if you are reading a blog, no matter whose or with what content, blogs are there because, their writers like to think they are smarter than you, and what better way to state you are smart, other then talking about philosophy right?

So thats why we are writing and you are reading, and if you are bored and not reading anymore then its because you cant understand what we are talking about, and this alone makes us philosophers or artists, who are not understood, ergo in a way or other we own and you suck. If you dont have your own blog that is!

So where is the question you’ve been bitching about, you ask. Nice, now you are asking questions and as you can see, I already started some sort of awereness and made you ask questions! With this pace I’d like to belive I can change the world, only if I could write more english content yet I’m kinda lazy about it. I’ll just have to settle with changing Turkey first. Bummer…

Aaaanyways, ffs, wtf, stfu already, you think, and I can sense that, dont ask how, because asking too many questions, just about with everything else, is not good. Dont overdo things. Just do things. Then dont do them anymore!

So here is the question, which is at the same importance scale of “is there a god?” and “if universe is expanding, where is it expanding to?”. Why arent there any funny women around? And I know its a flawed one since there are funny women but with exceptions proving the rule I wont ask it as “why are there so few of them?”. Those that are funny are the exceptions and therefore negligible and ignored. Or are they? Well I’d have to say, they arent! They are full of win!

Before today, I used to think there is only one woman who could make me laugh like a dude could and although at first this might sound somewhat gay, as in I’d prefer something being done to me by dudes than gals, it actually is a statement of full testesteron and manlyhood! I’ll let you think about it for a while, but only after you read this whole text first!

Chelsea Handler was the one and only woman who could make me laugh like a dude could, before today and I’m adding a second name to the list, making it an actual list this time: Lisa Nova. I’m not gonna talk about Chelsea Handler because it would be like introducing Steve Jobs, and if you know steve jobs and dont know Chelsea Handler, maybe its your time to consider the probability of you, yourself, being gay! Or an apple product owner, which are basically the same thing


So I really love these “epic rap battles of the history” and today I wanted to have my dayly dose of off them, and I watched Sarah Palin vs Lady Gaga, and thought Palin is hot, and I wondered who she was and so in credits I found a link to her own youtube channel. And after a few clicks I found myself doing what is known as lol to us nerds. Not in a misused manner, but for real, I was laughing and making sounds while doing it, interesting!

So yea I already passed the amount of english words I’m allowed to type a month therefore I’m gonna end this here but you gotta do yourself a favor and check Lisa out. Cenk out!


My New Fav Meme: Bill O’Reilly You Can’t Explain That xD

The moment 2 epic shit mix together, outcome tends to be, you guessed it right, epicness with biblical proportions, and that is exactly what I found out today. “Fucking magnets how do they work” has been one of my favorite memes, however it is somewhat underrated. Today’s meme seems to be a variation of this one, but it manages to take it to the next level imo :D Second ingredient to our mix is FoxNetworks prime fucktard Bill O’Reilly. I dont wanna go into detail but we can remember him from his famous flip out video when his prompter fails, fuck it we’ll do it live :D, another classic.

But today I was checking out the memedatabase and when I encountered “you cant explain that” I found myself in a constant lol state, in its most literal form :D Watch the videos, and how he goes on and on about “how did the moon get there?” hahaha and also the “never a miscommunication” :DDD

1:23 gesture is über xD

also bashing hawking :D

I couldnt help but notice the pix with stalin at the back.

And some images to wrap this one up.


Epic Rap Battle: Darth Vader vs Adolf Hitler!

For some reason, I tend to start these english posts with how I kinda ignored my  english speaking fans. And what kinda reason might that be? Like the fact that I did ignore you, but cry no more dear beloved friend. Here I’m back and serving you with what’s worth, let’s say 12 of my regular turkish posts. Some nub called niko forwarded this to me, but we never call him niko. We call him mahla, because you dont call people with their real names on the interwebs right? So yea, I didnt watch it right away, and it was a blessing in disguise, because I had a life then. And at some point I pressed play on tape, but wait, this aint no commodore 64, what press play on tape? Anyways, so as the song started I was amused, in the middle I was mesmerized, when it ended I was paralized and after watching it 156 times in a row I was still trying to watch it 1 more time.

So I think Darth Vader won simply because he has robot balls, and also he was funnier, however I also noted that Adolf’s voice sounded kinda nicer.

And by the way, if u dont know what “dirty sanchez” is, you might wanna look it up in the urbandictionary.com, but after you’ve done that, you might very well regret it, having that image in your head and that word in your vocabularies.

Latest Show of Ricky Gervais, Science is Full of Win (and I’m back)

So I had been afk, (that is away from keyboard, which stands for out of town or whatever reason I couldnt be online for around a week) in the language of the interwebs. And you wouldn’t know that now, would you? Why, simply because I wrote, like most of the stuff that I do here, that I’ll be afk for sometime in Turkish. Another sad fact that I wanted to keep you, English speaking fans of mine, away to protect you, yourself. Because life is like that, and basically we are done with the first paragraph here.

Ricky is one funny mofo I must say, and although I like the USA version of “The Office” more, he was doing a hell of job there, which is how I met him. But then just because, I cant really understand English people speaking English, I just swichted to the USA version. So if you are reading this Ricky, it wasnt your fault that show got cancelled, its just because we cant really understand what you are saying, which is kind of an handicap in terms of getting the jokes.

So what was I saying…I had been afk yea right. Anyways so when you are not online for a week, and you live your regular life in it, that is the internets, then your download queue tends to get long, and long it was. Apart from teh weekly series, like dexter, weeds, and the office ( sorry rick), there was this release which grabbed my attention. Ricky Gervais Newest Show, Scince. And I do love Ricky because when you listen to him enough you can kinda understand what he is saying, and I did that with his earlier shows, and the youtube thingy he had with Larry David, who I guess is my all time favorite comedian, and the normalest(most normal sounds gay to me for some reason) person who ever lived.

So I knew it was gonna be funny, disturbing, and epic, and Science gave me all of that. It was funny, and epicly disturbing, which is a good thing because when you are laughing at something disturbing, such as a joke about a dad getting dissapointed because his 6 year old daughter couldnt get raped properly, you instantly realize you are such an open minded, liberal person.

And there is no reason to make this any longer than it already is, because you shouldnt be reading this anymore and finding a download link or a torrent for Ricky’s latest work, or if you are not living in a 3rd world country such as myself, you can even go and purchase it of course :P No no, I just lied, we Turks arent the barbarians we used to be, and it is a shame I know. I’m missing my days in the States when a cab driver would occasionally, gets curious about my accent and asks me where I was from, and when I tell him I’m a Turk he asks “You are not gonna kill me, right?”. These are the questions I wanna reply “yes” to, but cant anymore. It even seems they will take us in EU, like in 100 years or so.

Wtf am I still babbling about right? Here are some links Official Ricky Gervais Page , Some Download links / Some Alternatives to Illegal Downloads

Nevermind the Bullets: Mandatory English Post xD

I know I ignored you moar then I should have, dear english speaking person, but know this, I always think about you, and the times we had or the times we should have had, or the times new roman catholic ha x 3.

So as you can see I’m still the funny guy that you always wanted me to be, smiling at the ungodly face of life which seldom does the same back at me, smile that is, or even if it does, I cant know that now, can I? Because I’m making things up as I go, saying thing like “face of life”… I mean wtf is that anyways ? Smiling at the face of life, which doesnt smile back at me…like I’m pwned or what ? haha Let me tell you this, I pwn this life, not the other way around hahaha! Haters gonna hate…

So I was surfing the international webs, and I do that because if I dont, then its boring and/or fail! So I came across this “nevermind the bullets” site, which is a homage to sex pistols’ “nevermind the bollocks” and encourages you that you dont need to be able to play an instrument to make music! But only 1 thing different, you do have to play something and also it has nothing to do with sex pistols, see I’m still making things up! Hilarious eh?

So then I said “dude, pls, wtf, stfu, gtfo nub”, and he was like “omg nerd, Imma nuke you from orbit”, and then I realized, this has got nothing to do with what I’m writing in here, in fact, I just created a whole new dimension of making things up, in the universe where you cant actually make anything up, or destroy it for that matter because we all know matter transforms into energy and energy transforms into matter, and nothing can be made up anyways!

Blehzors I thought at this moment, cuz I’m starving and trying to finish this post, but I couldnt even start it. I kinda pnwed myself. Selfpwnage, is it a bad thing ? Like PWNSTURBATION…well, I gotta finish what I started, or better yet, I gotta start what I couldnt start already!

So yeah, I came across this neat css experiment kinda, parallax scrolling , editable cool site which you can, guess what, edit…and make your own version, and I really liked the idea and the implementation. But being the flash lover that I am, I gotta underline that very fact taht, those of you who blame flash of being a cpu hog, this css site DOES STUTTER, but as I said I liked it and there is no shame of liking the things that you like, unless you are gay:)

Ok nubs till next time, hf gg bb

ah btw, here is the thingy I did

Google Translator ile Kendi Bloğuma Aşık Oldum!

So those of you, who have to use such means of translation, I kinda pity you and envy you at the same time. Due to the fact that my usage of turkish is distorted in this blog, so to speak, it ends up with hilarious translations and I just had a glimpse of it tonight myself when I saw it was google-translated from the admin page. So having that cleared out I’m gonna talk about how funny it transforms into, to my beloved turkish citizens from now on, because you are not accepting us into EU and making us turks all sad pandas here hahaha :P

Evet bu kısa giriş cümlesinden sonra olayı, zaten anlayacak olanlar da onlar olacak, İngilizce bilen türk vatandaşlarına getireyim. Az evvelki yazıda söylediğim gibi, wordpress admin panelinden bir takım bilgiler alabiliyoruz ve bunlardan birisi de sitenize nereden hit aldığınız, ki ben bu gece gördüm google-translator’dan bazı yabancı arkadaşlarım bloğumu okumaya kalkmış ama acayip manyakça şeyler okumak zorunda kalmışlar. Bu tür çeviriler zaten başarılı olamıyorlar tam olarak, ama bu bloglardaki gibi standart sapması yüksek yazılar yazılarda iyice coşuyorlar ve güldürüyorlar. Bakın gülün sizde.

Slayer Goes to Church!

This post doesnt have an introductive picture or a video embeded so you are thinking “wtf”, right? I couldnt import and embed the video evidence that depicts the Slayer show which took place in a church. Yes you read it correct mister, Slayer in the church. Also my hometown football team ended up being the champs so I’m somewhat overrun at work. However I had to come up with something to post here so here is mighty slayer at the chuch. Just check the link nubs. I loled like this btw.


Flash vs HTML5: From a Developers Perspective

Since this video is in english, I’ll just go ahead and make this post an english one as well. Those who know me know, that I’m definetely on the flash side of this debate, and actually I wouldnt normally care about it at all, but lately it sort of transformed into a flash vs apple debate, and guess what ? I really wouldnt care about that one either, however I cant stand the “coolness of apple” and “coolness of its users” and say I’m very jealous because I dont own an iFail device, and since the apple fanboys are on the rampage lately, I have to do something about it, because I cant take their non-stop bullshit anymore. I dont wanna listen to their mindless bragging and show off, especially they are, what we can easily call  “advertisement victims”. Yet they still keep telling apple will kill flash, with drooling mouths for some reason, so here is a video that compares both technologies by someone who knows what both technologies are capable of. Lastly, I didnt like how I ended up with writing a serious post.

My Science Project

Having recieved millions of fan mail, I decided it is that time of the year again, dear english speaking peoples of the interwebs. Today my scope is bigger than what it seems at first. I will be covering multiple subjects at once, I hope you can keep up with my demented mind ho ho ho.

Here we are gonna be investigating a site called My Science Project. Sounds pretty fancy to me. Because as we know, if it’s the science then it’s gotta be cool right, since we are all nerds in here in the interwebs! So, this site, which I will be referring as MSP from now on, is WIN, because it is nowhere close to FAIL. So lets start with something artificial: The looks!

The looks of the site is very much like the invention of http protocol. There are pictures and there are texts. No fancy flash shit here mind you! So all the apple lovers take a deep breath, you are in the safe zone now. Dear ipad owner at the back of the room, take your ifail out, your device can show this site properly, as internets were meant to be! No animations, no nothing, just pure old http like in 1988, I can see your eyes shine already you cool brat. So your investment in an apple product, which costed you dearly, is paying off now. “gg”

However I also need to mention, for those of you who has the sarsasm meters raging at the moment, I actually am being sincere. Because I might sound like a Macromedia (or Adobe as they pwned macromedia) fanboy, but I belive in functionality. And this site functions just perfect with “just pictures and text”, since it’s meant to be that way. They are like the mythbusters of the interwebs, focusing mainly on Jell-o. They take a serious question at hand, and then they put it in the test of the sciences, like how much alcohol will disintegrate the Jell-O shots, or how to nail Jell-O to the wall without breaking it to pieces! And this brings us to our next focus point: Content!

Content of this site is win. Because not only it covers cool subjects like I mentioned above, it will also teach you some everyday know-hows, such as if u put some viagra in the flowers your boyfriend gave you yesterday, the flowers will be stronger when put to test of time! Who would ever think that? Some medicine, that are meant to keep something specif up and running, can also keep flowers erect! You can read about many ownage experiments here and learn moaaaarrr about how to keep your helloween pumpkin from rotting as much as possible. And the text is actually pretty funny so just like our hero Xzibits would say “They put some funnies in your texts, so you can has fun as you are having fun as you are learning new things” Not only a win-win situation, but also a double win-win situation, which happens to be triple win-win situation for the ifail owner because this time, he can relate to what the fuck is going on in here, since his device can show things to him for a change, and not a lame-ass lego part.

At this point of my writing I feel the irresitable urge to say MSP, because I promised I would be calling this site MSP earlier and then I realized I didnt, which would make me a liar, and since I’m not one, here let me pause for a moment to make my honesty and integrity concrete: MSP, MSP, MSP, MSP, MSP, MSP, MSP…As my brain tells me, I’m running quite low on bullshiting resources,  I shut up now and give you the link. http://www.myscienceproject.org/

Great Questions Asked on Yahoo Answers!

I know it has been a while I havent posted something for my international fans of the interwebs, so here we go. We all know Yahoo Answers, time and again, hosts some of the most ridiculous, unspeakable, ungodly, and basically demented questions manifested by the human brain. And some of these makes me lol, yet this one above, this one my friends is something special and needs my undivided attention for real. One reason it attracted my attention is that it indeed is a weird question, however not a 100% perverted one, such as “how to clean semen from my cats fur” or blatantly stupid one, such as “if I dont use my vagina for long, will it heal up and close”. Yet still, it is about “shoving pizza crust in one’s rectum”, and being somewhat innocent about it. Tamamını Okuyun…

Twitter’a girmiş bulunuyorum

Nasıl bir sosyal patlama ise bu 2 haftadır bünyemi etki altında bırakan, blog sonrası birde twittercı olduk sevgili bas baritonlar ve hatta mezzo sopranolar. “Yea ne işim olur benim öyle şeyle bea” dediğim cep telefonundan sonra, ki biliriz ki artık ceptel olmadan evden çıkmak garip bir his tarafından takip edilir, twit davasına da girmiş bulunuyorum. Henüz listelerim bomboş olduğu için anca profilime 1-2 şey yazıp, anlamsızca sayıkladım 2-3 twit.

Adam gibi bir listen olsa epey yararlı bir dalga olacakmış gibi bir izlenim verdi de bunlar hep yaşlanma alametleri aslında. Allah sonumuzu hayır etsin. twit edecekler için kullanıcı adım: cenkozmercan.

English: After ages of misanthropic tendencies, I deciced its time to be a human being, and greet my emotions dear my lovers. So first thing I did was to write a poem which underlines the significance of love, respect and friendship ofc. So if you are interested in following my insta-poems from now on, do follow me tweeting around. Username is : cenkozmercan. I promise 100% mindless nonsense at all times.

English mofo, do u speak it ?

Recieving millions of mails from my international fans, I coulnt help but post something in english. I knew it was just a matter of time when I started this blog anyway. So for those who dont know jackshit about why this blog exists or what purpose it serves, here is my ultimate answer: I put things in here! Suprised, are you ? Well dont be, cuz we are just starting !!!

We have a saying in turkish, (şaka bi yana), which means joke , to the other  side, :D let me inform you with some details about cenkozmercan.wordpress.com. Here I show some of the stuff I did like some websites, things I do for TV, or other kinds of multimedia projects mainly. Also I post some of the series, movies, games kinda stuff, if I enjoyed em and want u to check it out cuz I think u might as well. you also could find some links to other sites where u can download these stuff, however I dont need to mention that I has no controls over those sites and what u do in the interwebs should be your own responsibility. I never download things ever!

So I really dunno what else to write, cuz most probably you are one of my friends from the islands, (or a friend of a friend) or, you should be one of those medics who didnt revive me on time ffs, and I just dont know how to incorporate these different realms of mine into a single blog. If u has some suggestiongs tho, go ahead and comment some, otherwise know that their spawn is 3 – 33 and just avoid fulls!!! and gib them hahaha :D

hf and bibuy

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